“So, I have told you about my relationship and my life, tell me more about Luke. What’s he like? Other than the fact that he doesn’t believe this. Does he have any exes? Are you friends with them? Tell me!” the sister said loudly through the sound of Misha’s noisy hairdryer.
Misha looked up from her dangling wet hair. Should she divulge more details about her personal life to this person she just met? But she is her twin sister, she literally has the same face! Should she trust her? She has already told Misha enough intimate details about her boyfriend and her life.
Before she could make a call, she found herself saying “Actually, Luke hasn’t told me anything about his exes. We don’t talk about these things, so, no, I’m not friends with any of them, and don’t you think it’s kind of weird to be friends with your boyfriend’s exes?”
“No, I am very close to David’s exes. We are very very close. She’s like a sister to me. There’s nothing to be weird about if you’re a mature adult. What’s weird is Luke avoiding the topic of exes. I think that’s a red flag, Mish.”
Mish. They have nicknames now? Irritated and offended, she let out a chuckle. Misha tried not to dwell too much on Luke because she knew that talking about Luke’s exes always lead to heated arguments and Luke always insists that it is a chapter he wanted to close. But of course, she couldn’t help but think that her sister is right after all. It is a red flag.
The next morning, Misha found a note by her bed.
“I am staying at Merseyside Hotel, please don’t fight with Luke because of me. Tell him he can come home. If you want to meet me, I am in Room 201.”
Misha could not decide if she felt relieved or guilty. But one thing she knew for certain was that she wanted Luke to come home so she could tell him all about last night. Misha dialled Luke’s number. “Look, you can come home now. My sister has gone to live in a hotel so you feel comfortable. Do you see what a sweetheart she is? Now come home so I can tell you all about her!” she left a message with Luke.
Misha and Luke’s love story started when their eyes first met. It was as if they had known that each other was what they wanted for a long time. Unlike Luke, Misha never had any previous boyfriends. Having grown up in foster care with no family, she had always taken her time with people. Guarded, the farthest she has let people in is by the door. But it was different with Luke. First, she liked him from the very first time she laid eyes on him. But also, Luke has this boyish innocence which made Misha feel comfortable around him. She could laugh, cry, gush and sit in silence with him. Before both of them know it, he is way past the door and finally, they’re together. One and a half years on, the more Misha has peeled the layers beneath Luke, the more she was able to see him clearly. His boyish innocence was replaced with calculated cautiousness, his goofy laughs have been replaced by disappointed sighs whenever Misha comes home late at night. Did he change? Or has he always been this wary, cynical and careful?
Luke also had his guard up, but Misha couldn’t see it beyond her own fences. That’s the thing with trauma, sometimes when something really bad happens, your world becomes smaller. It shrinks to a point where it only fits you and your baggage. The world becomes so small that you are unable to see that other people go through the same too.
When Luke came home, it was in the evening. Misha has been anxiously waiting. She was unsure about which order of conversation topics to bring up. The crazy anecdotes her sister has imparted on her, how she felt when she met her sister, what her sister looked like, how much she missed Luke before discovering her sister, and finally, why don’t they talk about Luke’s previous relationships. Where does she start? Luke sat down on the couch next to her in quiet disappointment that Misha has ignored his pleas and chosen to meet her sister.
“Why don’t we talk about your exes?” she finally broke the silence between them.
“What?” he looked at her, incredulous.
“Well, I feel like we have dated for a while now. And you never talk about your exes. You always get defensive, and my sister said it’s a red flag! I thought about it and you know what? It is!”
“I — ”
“Do not get defensive! I have been thinking about your behaviour for the past few days. About how you have acted with my sister and now this. If you really care about this relationship. You should tell me something about your previous life. Something, anything!” Misha’s voice grew louder and louder. It was as if her sister has given her the courage she needed for a breakthrough in this relationship that has been in a rut.
“Look, Misha. I wanted to spare your feelings so I didn’t want to talk about my exes. You didn’t have any boyfriends in the past. I don’t want you to get hung up over my previous relationships over nothing.” Luke reached out to hold her hand gently. “And I am sorry about the way I have acted towards your sister. I’m obviously wrong. You guys had a great night and I’m sorry I got in the middle between you two.”
Misha didn’t expect his reaction from Luke. Usually, he would raise his voice and go into a spiralling rant about how knowing about his exes is pointless for their relationship. Maybe Luke’s mishap on the way he handled her sister’s reunion gave her leverage to finally bring this up. “I want to see what she looks like. Your last girlfriend.” Misha grinned.
Luke pulled up a picture on his phone. A couple in hiking gear was smiling back in the photo. The first thing Misha noticed was how similar they looked. Her smile, brown hair and high-arched brows. They looked different but similar enough for Misha to do a double-take. “Wow, you have a type.” Misha continued grinning to keep the atmosphere light-hearted. But his ex-girlfriend’s face continued floating in her mind and the thought kept lingering — “Wow, she looks like me”
